Porn is love you can see.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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