All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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