and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
