'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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