Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
