do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
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