I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
