you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
