do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I puked a lego.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
