Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
