if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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