So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
she looked like the before picture.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She even gives head with a lisp.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
