i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
i now understand why vodka
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
