Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize