I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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