I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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