I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
