Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
