He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
