Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize