I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
