I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Randomize
