i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Enjoy the penises
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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