it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
So vagazzling was a success
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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