I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You've changed since you got that strap on
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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