32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I booty called her while she was in labor.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize