no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
