my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
i've created a new STD.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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