That's intense
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i think i have herpe
just one?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize