I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
this boner is exhausting
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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