you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
