Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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