Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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