I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize