im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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