YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
