Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
