yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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