You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
