Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Randomize
