We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
