Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
