I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
