he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
