I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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