i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
