8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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