Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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