just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
whose parrot is this?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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