You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
