hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
