I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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