somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
