dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
