Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
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