Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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