Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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