how do flat chested girls get laid?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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