nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
