Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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