hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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