wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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