somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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