His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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