she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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