I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
