HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
