No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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