C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
